Women’s Dictionary
ARGUMENT: A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.
AIRHEAD: What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
BBQ: You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, “made the dinner.”
BLONDE JOKES: Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
CLOTHES DRYER: An appliance designed to eat socks. DIET SODA: A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
ETERNITY: The last two minutes of a football game.
EXERCISE: To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
GROCERY LIST: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. GADGET STORE: Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.
CHILDBIRTH: You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say “focus,…breath…push…”
PATIENCE: The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.
WATERPROOF MASCARA: Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
VALENTINE’S DAY: A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
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